Phuket + Bangkok:

Highs - in order of excitibility

1. Chatuchak Weekend Market, Bangkok

Oh man - I've been to more than a few street markets in my life, but this one beats them all!

10,000 stalls selling just about everything under the sun: antiques, clothing, furniture, thai silk, kitchenware, upholsery, plants, snacks, "dai pai dong" type eateries - the amalgate of sights, sound and smells makes it a total sensory overload. The crowds just spoke "ASIA" to me like nothing else - multitudes of people coming towards you, behind you, on your right, on your left. It's a wonder I haven't been smooched. It'll be one of the times in my life when I REMEMBER being awake. Bonus: prices are so cheap you have to wonder how badly you're getting ripped off elsewhere, but of course everyone bargains just for the heck of it.

2. Maya Beach, Phi Phi Island and James Bond Island near Phang Nga

Remember The Beach, that awful movie that Leonardo diCaprio was in? Well, Maya Beach IS The Beach. The movie might not be anything worth remembering, but the Beach is another story. It's truly paradise [if only the hords of tourists weren't there :( ]


the cliff where Richard, Leo's character in The Beach, jumped off
James Bond Island was the setting for a speedboat chase in The Man with the Golden Gun with Roger Moore as 007. (My mum remembers the scene!) The island has fantastic micro-landscapes. We squatted on a mudflat looking at mini one-clawed crabs, where I accidentally tore a claw off a crab when trying to look at it. The claw writhed around with reflex even after it was separated from the crab.... urrrrgh xP. We then crawled around some limestone caves, stalagtites and stalagmites at the base of the island cliffs, edged towards bat caves, then shrank away cos of the stench.

3. Auntie Jane, my bro's funky Thai fairy god mother

She's funny, beautiful, elegant, stylish AND she has purple tinted pepper hair!
Picture this: we were strolling around hawkers' stalls around the Christmassy, all-decked-out entrance of Four Seasons. Auntie Jane spotted a hawker selling those clownish masks with geek glasses + huge nose + mouchestache + paper whistle, and she bought two. Just before returning to the chic hotel lounge for tea and dessert, she puts the mask on, marches right past the posh doormen, the gawking guests, the sniggering pianist and singer, sneaks up behind her husband and BOO!ed him with her whistle!

4. Thai massage

I'm usually totally crap with massages, as am v. ticklish and can't help giggling all over the place when masseuses touch my back. BUT... this one has Thai jasmine + lavender oils. The masseuse was super and I only giggled a few times. I smelled so good after I couldn't help sniffing my skin at lunch!

5. The food court at the Emporium, Bangkok

Bakeries of all types everywhere! Beautiful gourmet pastries and cakes, cutesy colourful birthday cakes, fresh bread at the Mandarin Oriental's bake shop.... just looking at the displays make me hungry. The food at the cafes are super as well - love the light fluffy chocolate cake and the coconut sorbet made from young coconut water and bits of coconut flesh :d

Lows - in order of crappiness

1. Mosquitoes

Totalling 60 bites on my forearm, legs, shoulders, ankles, thighs, back and hips. I must have made a bloodfest buffet.

2. Getting my almost weightless glasses blown off into the sea

I was on a speedboat going from Maya Beach to the bay where lunch was served. We were looking at scenery, I turned my head in the downwind direction. Whoosh! Off my glasses went into the sea. I spent the evening squinting at fuzzy family acquaintances over dinner, and the next day trying to avoid bumping into fat, gross, sunburnt sketchy Westerners on the street next to Patong Beach.


before losing all facial adornments
3. Fighting with bro in Bangkok

And I thought I'm too old for that. Not true. But I'm out-muscled now, and gone all bru-brack on my arms.

4. Bangkok traffic jams

At 3 miles per hour It's comarable to LA highways. Only you're on a shadowy, dusty crowded street with tuk-tuks and their dust-eating passengers, taxis, Lexuses, Mercedes, and the odd bike all around your air-conditioned van.

5. Huge brown birthmark-like tan on back

Shit happens when you try to spread sunblock on your back by yourself.

6. Losing earrings, goggles, snorkelling tubes to the sea

and should this be funny, embarrassing, stupid, or all of the above?....

Accidentally flashing me nipple on a tuk-tuk


Phuket tuk-tuks, being different with their safer seating arrangements, are to blame for this one.
It was hot and humid. I unwisely wore a risque Issey Miyake low back, v-cut halter neck without er, precautionary measures. We were on a tuk-tuk on the way to dinner. Some Harley-Davidson-biker-wannabe Westerner on a motor cycle was behind us. He looked at me, then laughed his head off. In my perplexedness and insecurity, I look down to check my non-existent cleavage. Boobs are in place, nothing is wrong. I returned to my original slanted posture. After another 15 mins, I look down again to double check. Then I saw what the gweilo was laughing at. My right boob slipped out ever so slightly on the side. Argh....... at least I made someone's boxing day.