How would you sell ice tea?

Plan to go to France for internship does not seem to be working out, as:

a) have trouble reading career websites in French - cannot understand the qualifications;
b) am being rather lazy on the initiative front

So, have resorted to scrambling for advertising summer internships in Boston, in an attempt to sell out to the corporate world. But first, I have to come up with an ad campaign, as requested by my app:

"Description: XXX Iced Tea comes in a 16 oz. bottle and is available in multiple
flavors ranging from blah to blah to blah.

Target Audience: Men and women who are [Banana Republic / Kenneth Cole uniform-clad no-life office workers] (down-to-earth thirtysomethings).
� They�ve hit their own personal stride. They are making their own decisions (career, friends, family) and sticking to them: life is getting full and satisfying. [questionnable]
� They�re surrounded by things that help them feel happiness from the outside in (i.e., money, clothes, coffee, trips), but the best moments are when those things are not needed�a great chat with old friends, singing along to a favorite song in the car, laughing at a joke you told yourself.

Market: With new entrants every day, the beverage category is becoming more and more fragmented. XXX brand�s competition is not restricted to other teas, it includes all drinks (e.g., soft drinks, water, etc.). The role for advertising is to make XXX meaningful within the context of the category as a whole � not just among other teas.

Trend/Fact: 30 percent of the U.S. population drinks between 1 and 7 servings of tea per week. [then why is Starbucks taking over the world?!]

How is XXX Brand different: XXX Iced Tea is the only tea on the market that�s brewed from real tea leaves. This gives Lipton its bold, real-tea taste�and it�s that real tea that helps you feel a sense of natural vitality, letting you bring your best, most genuine self to the world around you.

Challenge: Give XXX some soul. Communicate it as a brand that strikes a deeper chord. Encourage people to bring their best, most genuine self to the world around them."

Man, this fluff is so "yuk mah". Someone please strike my brain with lightning.